Welcome Paradise Computer
Jook
| First Fight | |
| Three
weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her
minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John
and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY? |
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Brave Cat |
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| The
newly-married husband came home from the office to
find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling,
whatever is the matter?" he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We can get a new cat tomorrow." |
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| Great Female Comebacks | |
| Man:
"Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: "Your place or mine?" Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine." Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" Woman: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." Woman: "That's in the phone book too." Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave." Man: "I'd go through anything for you." Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you." Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there? |
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Snail |
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| A snail walks into a bar and the bartender kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?" | |
| Good And Bad News | |
| Doctor:
"I have good news and bad. The good is you have
24 hours to live." Patient: "Oh no! then what's the bad news?" Doctor: ' I forgot to call you yesterday.' |
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